I posted this here because I'm serious, and I don't want spammy bull crap posted in the thread. Anyways. I have this poem and it doesn't seem right to me. How can I make it better?
All I did was fantasize.
No lie.
Why do I need to hide these tears behind my eyes.
Now I can just realize.
That I've been hypnotized.
The feeling are, somewhat surreal.
Layers of my heart starting to peel.
Why is this the way I feel?
I guess hearts are what you know, how to steal.
You are miss perfect.
Not just a close friend.
When I hug you, I don't want that feeling to ever end.
Don't let this be make believe, and never ever ever pretend.
Maybe by now you understand.
Why I say sorry all the time, beginning to end.
I don't want our friendship to end, like an average amateur band.
But I'll be honest. When I looked in your eyes, I became your number 1 fan.
kthnx uch...it hurts:
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Thread: How to improve this poem?
- 15 Feb. 2011 11:49pm #1
Artificial's Breast Implants
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How to improve this poem?
- 16 Feb. 2011 01:47am #2
Wish I knew how to give advice on poems. I would definitely help you. But imo, its good.