I think that some people just ask to be raped....

[Ash]

Anyways, my brother went on msn and said that a friend of his told him she had been raped recently and that pissed my brother off.
He told me the details of the story and apparently she went ALONE to a bar and say her ex there with some friends and he was making on a new girlfriend. Apparently she had been drinking alot and became emotional and one of her ex's friends saw this and tries to console her. She apparently ended up going home with the guy and passed out on his bed only to wake up with him fucking her.

Moral of the story; I think hanging at a bar yourself; likely provocatively dressed; drinking enough to be "drunk" in pulblic and seeking comfort from someone you hardly know is pretty much asking for it.
My brother begs to differ and says I'm blaming the victim which is wrong, what do you think Lg?

[CL0V3R]

You're blaming the victim just because she made a stupid choice doesn't give someone the right to rape her. I think a few years ago I would have thought the same thing as you, but after talking few people who were raped it really changed my opinion. In any case I don't think she was "asking" for it. For her she was just hurt and upset, got smashed, and in her lack of judgement thought one of her exs friends was being a pretty cool dude that night to let her chill over at his place. Maybe she thought her exs friend was a decent guy, not someone that'd decided to rape a girl. When you think about it, who's fault really is it? I he could have decided not to rape her, but ultimately he decided to take advantage of her. What right does he have to rape her? In all honesty? I don't think it's so fair to the victim that you can't dress, act, look, go somewhere, with out people thinking, "Oh, she got raped?" "What a stupid bitch." I just never get why people blame the victim, when in the end again it was the person who decided to take advantage of the victims fault. I mean he could of, well decided not to shove his dick in her while she was sleeping, I hope he at least used a condom for her sake. I mean if you were to be walking some where and you got raped besides your better judgement would you feel it was your fault. Say you were wearing the color blue, and someone raped you because of that. Would you say it's your fault for being a retard and wearing blue? Or if someone steals your car because you parked it in a shady part of town is that the victims fault too? Most of the time women are harder on rape victims, it gives them the illusion they'll never be raped as long as they never do anything stupid themselves. It makes me sad that women are so critical of other women due to their own insecurities. (Not saying necessarily you of course)

[Google]

A female shouldn't go to a bar alone to get wasted. If it was emotional and you need a drink, ask Some friends to come along for protection.

[CL0V3R]

A female shouldn't go to a bar alone to get wasted. If it was emotional and you need a drink, ask Some friends to come along for protection.

What if she didn't have any friends to ask along at the time? Also I'm not sure if she knew her ex was going to be there. If she didn't maybe she just wanted to have a night out, then after seeing her ex that she still had feelings for she freaked and decided to drink because she didn't know how to deal with what was going on. Or maybe she knew he was going to be there and wanted to try and talk it out, then found he was hitting on another women. In the end you'll never actually know unless you're in her shoes you know? I'm sure she probably blames herself, but why is it the woman's fault if she decides to go somewhere and do something. It shouldn't just be acceptable if something bad happens it's her fault for being there. I mean that's like saying someone just got in a car crash but it was their fault for deciding to hop in that car.

[Ash]

Clover I'm not saying that the guy wasn't at fault; but this girl clearly has issues; my brother says that she hangs at the bar all the time by herself thus leading me to believe she is some kind of bar skank. No one is going to rape you because you wear the color blue; but if yo dress in a way that people would be able to easily label you as slutty then maybe you shouldn't dress like that?
A woman who goes to a bar and wears decient clothing and is with people is far less likely to be raped.
As far as the car parked in the shady part of town, I would avoid that too... hence the point, its like they went out of their way for something bad to happen to them.

What if she didn't have any friends to ask along at the time? Also I'm not sure if she knew her ex was going to be there. If she didn't maybe she just wanted to have a night out, then after seeing her ex that she still had feelings for she freaked and decided to drink because she didn't know how to deal with what was going on. In the end you'll never actually know unless you're in her shoes you know? I'm sure she probably blames herself, but why is it the woman's fault if she decides to go somewhere and do something. It shouldn't just be acceptable if something bad happens it's her fault for being there. I mean that's like saying someone just got in a car crash but it was their fault for deciding to hop in that car.

According to my brother shes apparently a real social butterfly, so I doubt that was the case, even so, its kinda indicative of a problem if you go out to a bar alone.... especially if you intent is to get plastered. She didn't know that her ex was going to be there which is why she got all emotional; she was already drinking to the point of intoxication by herself and seeing the ex made her tun it up a notch (Whoever kept serving her alcohol failed their safe serve test it seems...)

As for the car scenerio it may or may not be the persons fault; if they were just going somewhere and the driver was sober ect... then its no their fault; but if they got into a car with someone who was drunk/high then it is their fault because they chose to put themselves in an unsafe situation.

[CL0V3R]

What right do we really have to judge her though? Even if she hangs out in the bars all the time it's not like anyone deserves to get raped. It's not like it's something fun, I'm sure if she knew she was going to be raped she would have avoided the situation. I think it's funny, what if the same thing happened to your best friend or someone you cared about would you still feel the same way about the situation? It sounds like you already have a disposition to dislike this woman from the way you talk about her, so maybe you find it more acceptable. Even if a women goes to a bar not dressed like a skank there is still a chance she might get raped. There isn't really any excuse for rape at all. She may have worn something provocative and may have been at the wrong place at the wrong time, but it doesn't mean she wanted it. Also about the car what if you had no where else to park, like if you lived somewhere shitty. That's how my boyfriend got his car stolen. Lol I don't think they went out of their way to have something bad happen to them. I think we all have those times where we make stupid decisions.

[Ash]

I don't like or dislike this person as I have never met them before; If someone I was close to acted in the same was as this person I would have to say I would believe it to be their fault as well.
Just to be clear, I don't think it was right at all for that guy to rape her, but there are certain situations which you would try to avoid, if your going to act in such a way, then you have to accept the posibility that something like that would happen; I don't care if this dude was one of her "ex's" friends, I don't even know how long the two were together, I just know she obviously didn't know him well enough to go home with him completely wrecked out of her mind and not even tell anyone where she was (since she was alone to begin with) shes lucky that all that happened to her was get raped, shes lucky the guy wasn't some kind of murderer or something.

[CL0V3R]

I think in some respects I agree she could have done more to avoid the situation, though I don't believe she or anyone else really deserves to be raped. I think we may just have to agree to disagree, for the most part though, I can see a lot of where you're coming from.

[Ash]

Glad you see where I'm coming from.
I'm not saying like, yeah rape is a good thing; but if you don't care about your safety enough to put yourself in this situation in the first place, then why should anyone else care about you?
This story is coming second hand from my brother to me, it being in the bias of her.
For all we know she could have consented to the sex and then later decided it was wrong to do and pinned the blame on him; if your not in a sober enough state of mind to avoid potentially dangerous situations like this; then your obviously not in a state to be credible either.


I have to admit, there are things that happen you can't control; like a little kid getting touched by their bad uncle or something like that.
but if your putting yourself in the situation and making things worse by adding other things into the equation such as the fact she was drinking provocatively dressed and known to be the kind of person who hangs ou in a bar herself, the guy saw this and thought I think I'm going to get some tonight; yes he took advantage and that was morally not right ,but she was definitely in the wrong.
Things happen, people do get raped and I'm not saying its their fault; but it seems to me that there is a pattern that people who are multiple rape victims and such all seem to have these same elements in common; they let themselves her intoxicated, and are alone.

[CL0V3R]

Lol I just wrote out a long response but my internet crashed as I was posting, so now I must retype everything.

It's true she could be lying, lets hope not. I fucking hate women who even have the audacity to think about doing something like that. It's just fucked and no one has the right to fuck up someone's lives for something like that. Though hopefully she isn't lying. I don't think so much it's an issue with the drinking or the way she dressed, it's more going home with someone you don't know hammered out of your mind is probably the really shitty part. I wouldn't say she was wrong or right, just made some really stupid decisions. I think as far as the bar goes, she's probably so comfortable with being there she thought there wasn't any chance that it would happen to her. People get careless and that leads to some crappy consequences. When it comes to the intoxicated/alone part most people don't rape in public anyways, that'd just be asking to get caught. Lol Also there are still people who get raped when they aren't alone or drunk. A relative of mine has been raped twice, once she was alone with her boyfriend who she thought she could trust, they were just hagging out at his house when he locked the door to his room and raped her. The other time she was thrown in a room with one of her brothers friends and her brothers held the door closed while their friend raped her. :/ So I mean there are people who get raped multiple times, but it isn't always their fault or something they can control.

[omgdewd]

im pretty sure it turns some people one e.e

[C0FFINCASE]

SO let me see if I get the reasoning here. All men are dogs and will rape you, if you make a stupid choice as a woman you deserve to be raped by the sex crazed male populous.
So what if we all just acted like decent people and looked out for each other? What if you could rely on random stranger you barely know to not rape you and/or call you a cab? Seriously you can blame the victim regardless of what they did that lead to the event. In reality what she did is done a lot and people don't just sit around raping people that do it. I've helped a a number of friends and strangers get cab home or taken them there myself simple because that would be the right thing to do and never once was inclined to rape any one so the rapist is the one to be blamed and punished.

[DarkEternity]

Ash you are an ass. Nobody deserves to have something like that happen to them and just because someone makes a bad choice (especially when they are not aware of what they are doing) doesnt mean they are asking for it.

[Ash]

Ash you are an ass. Nobody deserves to have something like that happen to them and just because someone makes a bad choice (especially when they are not aware of what they are doing) doesnt mean they are asking for it.

the fact that they let themselves get into a state of inebriation where they aren't aware of what they are doing is completely irresponsible, which leads to a consequence, that of course in this case being rape.
Thats like saying, someone drunkenly gets into a car and crashes, its their fault right?
Heres another anology you guys might appreciate; someone has a really good account on gaia which they take good care of ect... but have their password as password; and then they get hacked; it was their fault for not taking the extra precaution.

Murphys Law
""Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"."





Also; I'm not sure as to the inhebriated state of the man in question; if he was drunk and got stupid and raped the girl, then he is at fault? he wasn't in a right state of mind, if the woman was too messed up to notice she was getting raped, could that not mean he was so messed up he didn't know what he was doing?

[CL0V3R]

@Ash: Well considering that she was passed out I think in some ways that's a bit different then someone who still has control over their own bodies. Even if being inebriated took away his better judgement, it still means he probably had intentions to fuck her before hand. Also it's the same excuse people give when they are cheating, oh I was drunk it's cool. No, alcohol just lowers your inhibitions, so with that in mind it seems like it would be the guy's fault for taking advantage of a passed out woman. Also do you know he was shit faced too? I mean you didn't mention anything of it prior. I don't see any real reason to make excuses for a rapist. In any case like I said earlier, I think she made some poor choices but ultimately it was/is the guys fault for raping her in the first place. Also as an added note I think Murphy's law is bullshit considering there is alway probability for something to go wrong but things don't go wrong 100% of the time. Plus it's not a real "law" of science, everything in our universe is based on probability and chance there is no definitive outcome. People just want to feel like they have some sort of grasp over why something goes wrong in their lives. It alot easier to acknowledge why you had a bad day through something via Murphy's law because then you don't really have to think about why those things happened. Although that's totally another debate all together.

[Ash]

@ clover.
I don't know anything about his intoxicated state, I would immagine he had a few drinks in him though since they met at the bar.

[Ash]

cowboy, how did she ingest these roofies? She should have followed the 1 cardinal rule; do not leave your drink unintended; thus she was also careless.

[takoyaki]

Maybe some people just have too much faith in humanity. If a person actually thought they would be raped, I doubt they would commit such actions that would in their mind lead to it. Though I do think many younger females teens-twenties, dress unacceptably, and in a manner that makes them "rapable" I guess you could say, I don't think they want it, or intend on it happening, they often just do it because it is the "in" thing or for some other similar reason. People will always have a terrible taint to them, not every person, but people in general, there will always be rapists and murders. Also it should never be assumed that dressing in any fashion is safe, people have been raped in plain clothes and sultry clothes, so you can't assert one is worse, or more "rapable".
In short- She made bad decisions. But ones that are believable seeing as what her situation was. Did she ask for it? NO, but her lack of inhibition helped lead to it. Likely with a guy like that he would have done it to any very drunk girl, not just her. It is the rapists fault not the victims. The only way to completely avoid any chance of rape is to live alone and never leave your very secure house. Else wise it is possible for anyone to be raped, some scenarios may just be more accommodating to the idea.

<3 ash. Sorry i had to disagree with you buddy

[teh god]

A female shouldn't go to a bar alone to get wasted. If it was emotional and you need a drink, ask Some friends to come along for protection.

I agree with Google Went i went to a bar With my friends And there was a girl that was alone then so Retard drunks Started to pick on her me and my friends told them to stop
;p that the end of that So yeah A girl should never go by her self to a bar bring friends

[lexiwinz]

Some people just go out to have sex then when its all done they claimed to be raped so either they dont look like a whore or they can cover or whatever. I know a girl who has done that before.