Unfortunately, Dota 2 has a massive learning curve.

You are going to be constantly reminded of how much you suck for about 1-3 months (if you learn). If you read this guide and use your brain and be actively aware of how bad you suck, you can easily shave time off of your complete noob status. You could even make some kids think that you’re really good, but only if they are bad.

Check out the extensive but thorough guide for Dota 2 by Purge Gamers.