I could've had sex with this

[Kain]

(3 years ago)

[Stormie]

[Kain]

I don't see what Sarah Jessica Parker has to do with this at all.

[Ethan]

Not bad at all boss. She looks sweet but you can see the sparks of crazy from the way the eyes rest. (:

[Jah]

Nice mouth.

[Souleater]

Damn. You shoopd' when you should have whoopd'.

[Kain]

She was a super obsessive drug addict at the time.

Kinda a boner kill.

[Drakonid]

Your boner sounds weak.

[Kain]

Your boner sounds weak.

Only when fearing for my well-being.

[Souleater]

Yea but you could have been with here when she cleaned up and you'd be with a hot girl and not a druggy.

[Kain]

Yea but you could have been with here when she cleaned up and you'd be with a hot girl and not a druggy.

I was busy going from 2 week relationship to 2 week relationship at the time.

I was a douchebag back then.

[Souleater]

I was busy going from 2 week relationship to 2 week relationship at the time.

I was a douchebag back then.

Then why not beat in between the two week relationships and try helping her get clean?

[Kain]

Cause I haven't talked to her in 3 years.

[Souleater]

Cause I haven't talked to her in 3 years.

<_<
>_>
Details.

[Kain]

What kinda details?
There's an entire story arc behind this chick.

[Chad]

We have time.

[C0FFINCASE]

Your boner sounds weak.

You've obviously never seen a cocked out whore foaming at the mouth while she freaks out.

[Torian]

Dear god LG is full of real life whores. Carry on <3

[Drakonid]

You've obviously never seen a cocked out whore foaming at the mouth while she freaks out.

No foam, but seizures...

[Kain]

Well, back in the wondrous land that was middle school, I met her through a friend, blah blah blah, nothing much happened.

Then in 8th grade, we have like, 4 classes together. We start hanging out and shit, and she starts getting pretty obvious she likes me.

Being the jackass I was in 8th grade, I proceed to date two of her friends for two weeks, back to back, dumping each for no reason.

Yet, for some reason, she's still interested.

So one day, she's all like "You should come over for my birthday party, it'll be really fun." So, I went.

Now, this was 3 years ago. I'm about the same height, my hair is a lot shorter (example in the RL pics thread), but everything else is pretty much the same. She's a ton paler, her hair is purple and blue, and her boobs are about an entire cup smaller. Just so you guys get a nice image.

So, I go to her house on her birthday, and I'm the first person to show up. At this point, it feels pretty fishy, cause I was 6 minutes late.

Nobody else showed up.

We wander around town doin' whatever the fuck, cause she lived right next to a shopping plaza the young'uns call Four Corners.

Somewhere along the way, we run into one of her friends, who's riding home on his old ass bike, with a huge bag of weed. She promptly says we should smoke weed.

I had never smoked weed in my entire life, until that day. And I smoked too much.

Hours went by like seconds, and I had no fucking clue what was going on.

We ended up back at her house, at like midnight. She starts makin' moves, and we go to her room and start fooling around on the bed.

Eventually, I get her down to just her panties, and myself down to just my pants.

And I pussy out like a fucking pro.

This is not the end though!

She seems like she understands so, I'm like "Coo, I'mma go sleep on the couch."

Apparently she has a very different meaning for the word sleep than I do.

I wake up, about 3 hours later, with her on top of me, hand on my dick.

She's basically yelling at me to fuck her, but I'm so freaked out, I flip her off of me onto a coffee table, and just walk out of the house, back home.

Two hours of walking, still high.

Luckily it was the last few days of school, cause I never went back to that horrible place.

(she still texted me nearly daily for a year)

[Ethan]

I remember the first time I smoked, I was blazed for the whole night and completely faded the whole next day.
The first time you smoke, no matter how much you smoke, it will be too much.

But I had a very visual experience reading this and it cracked me up. Sorry to laugh at your misfortune. D:
8th grade is a bit young for sex. I was a senior when I had my first shot. You player.

[Kain]

It's fine, it's pretty goddamn hilarious.

I've smoked once since then.

Also, that wasn't my last shot at sex.

[Ethan]

It's fine, it's pretty goddamn hilarious.

I've smoked once since then.

Also, that wasn't my last shot at sex.

I know it wasn't your last, I was just sharing my first shot.
I have smoked 4-5 more times. Great shit every time except the k2 I smoked twice, shit kills people.

[Kain]

Never even seen k2.

[Ethan]

Never even seen k2.

Because it was made illegal and it killed a few kids over in some Central state.
It clearly says on the bottle, "Not for human consumption."
It was a legal version of weed and you got pretty high off of it. Shit was terribly bad for you though.

[Kain]

Sounds dumb.

[C0FFINCASE]

Its funny how something as small as yelling changes a situation from awesome to scary as shit.

[Kain]

That it is.

[Ethan]

If I was that young and got yelled at to fuck someone, I would probably freak as well.
Nowadays, I would jump on it.

[Stormie]

Now you can have sex with this

[Jah]

I remember the first time I smoked, I was blazed for the whole night and completely faded the whole next day.
The first time you smoke, no matter how much you smoke, it will be too much.

But I had a very visual experience reading this and it cracked me up. Sorry to laugh at your misfortune. D:
8th grade is a bit young for sex. I was a senior when I had my first shot. You player.

Lol yup you are right, i smoked exactly on my 15th bday, and it was the first time, and then 2 weeks later , i was so on it.
Now im good, times to times.


Edit: Guys , i smoked vefore my Physics test and got 14 out of 20 which was the best grade in class xDD
How high: " Get high for high grades" (or shit like that )

[Kain]

Now you can have sex with this

Kain likes this post.

[C0FFINCASE]

Now you can have sex with this

I ordered one yesterday, no joke. Seemed like a solid investment.

[Souleater]

I ordered one yesterday, no joke. Seemed like a solid investment.

Just be careful. It could end up a sticky situation.

[Stormie]

Zing!


ololol.