ventventvent

[Kain]

I'm one of the smartest kids in my year, and have massive amounts of potential, but don't know how to use it.

It rips me to shreds to see myself wasting so much knowledge on shit that doesn't matter, and seeing other kids pull their shit together and graduate a year early with half their college credits.

I don't eve know why I can't do that shit.

It's like a part of me knows how inevitable my failure is.

Even though another part of wants so bad to succeed.

And to be noticed.

All my life, all I've wanted is attention.

That's why I act the way I do on here.

The Internet is the only place I get noticed.

In all reality, nobody outside of my family really cares much about me.

My friends only hang out with me because I help them with understanding the music for band.

My girlfriend was specifically chosen, and manipulated to want to be around me.

And that's the worst part.

I specifically picked a girl whose emotions had been shattered, and who'd been verbally and emotionally assaulted multiple times in her life. I took her mind and crafted it into a truly good person, but with a flaw. She needs me to survive.

She craves my approval. I don't text back for a day? She breaks down. Starts questioning everything.

It's like I get some sort of kick out of things needing me to survive.

It's probably why I was so attracted to playing the Sims as a kid.

Knowing that without me, these things. They'd die.

That if they refused my direction, they would suffer.

Because for some stupid reason, everything I do is motivated by being noticed.

I got good at math, because my parents noticed me for it.

Then they stopped.

So I got good at reading. And computers. And English, and science, and every possible thing I could think of.

Just trying to get attention.

And then my brother was born.

And the attention shifted away from me.

no matter how great my success was, I wasn't noticed.

So I switched.

I started failing.

not enough to be held back. Just enough to get attention. C's, a few D's.

And then that stopped working too.

So now I'm lost.

Everybody around me is too busy to notice me for anything.

And it's starting to tear me apart on the inside.

I hate waking up, beccause I have to go through my day, and act happy, while people focus on things that have nothing to do with me.

I have to deal with not having a local relationship.
With people talking about how much fun they had.

When I have no true friends.

Nobody who actually enjoys hanging out with me.

It all just pisses me off so much.

So I try to keep myself busy.

I buld computers, play games, learn instruments.

all in an attempt to distract myself from how I much I have failed myself.

And how I'm failing my parents, and will become nothing but a burden on society because the workplace is a non-discriminate pile of gray.

I have to spend everyday knowing I could be better, but I'm not.

Knowing I could serve the world in the army, but my body is wrong.

Knowing I could help people in school, but I can barely keep my grades up.

Knowing that I have absolutely no motivation to succeed, because the chances of being noticed are so low.


I don't like school. Not in the lol school is gay way.

In the 'everyone else gets attention too' way.

If I had one teacher, all to myself.
If I could do things at my pace.
I would finish every school day hours early.
I would do several days of work in one.
I would succeed more than any person before me.

But that's not how the system orks.
The system is designed against people who thrive on attention.

I can't afford private schools.

I can't even afford half the fees I have to pay for public school.

And knowing that my parents cut corners to pay for all this shit, that I'm not even using...

Knowing that I'm basically a hole in the ground, that they're chucking money into.


It honestly makes me want to die.



But I'd never do anything about. I'm going to wake up everyday, and do the same thing I've been doing.
And I cannot change it, no matter how hard I try, and it kills me.

[Chad]

tl;dr .

[Ethan]

You are a fucking awesome person Kain. And don't say you manipulated that out of me.
If I lived anywhere near you, I would definitely want a friend like you. I have no friends out here.
It's either they aren't good enough for me or I use them to feel like I am needed.

I put a mask on whenever I am out of this house or with somebody or talking to somebody on the phone or VOIP.
I act silly and try to be funny and be that guy who everyone likes talking to, however when I am not talking to anyone, I am never happy, my mind is like a tornado, everything whipping around and shit. Mainly because I have the feeling of being the definition of "Forever Alone". I always feel like I am not meant to be with anybody and nobody is meant to be with me. Could be because I have been played so many times or could be because I am anti-social.

I usually waste all my days as well. I could be doing something great, instead I go to the gym for 2 hours and that's my day, the rest of the time is spent fucking off on my computer or xbox. It's fucking sad that I waste myself like that. I should have never left football, it kills me everyday, that's why I am trying so hard to hopefully play next year for community college, so I can have some sense of completion.

[Chad]

Long story short, similar how I feel about everyday. This song kind of it hit on perfectly;

[Kain]

Long story short, similar how I feel about everyday. This song kind of it hit on perfectly;

Fun fact, I enjoy that CD thoroughly.
I have all released versions of it, because why not.

[Elliot]

Fun fact, I enjoy that CD thoroughly.
I have all released versions of it, because why not.

Y u no answer my texts?

[Kain]

Y u no answer my texts?

Y u no get on MSN?

Linkin Park?

Sup hipster ******.

[Chad]

Kain, everyone basically tells me the same thing. That I have a lot of potential but I never use it. I've basically followed the same path as you except took up programming instead of all that with music. I can if I wanted to, hang out with the "preps" due to football reasons. However, I choose not to because they mostly act immature and tend to rip on me because I think differently then they do.

[Elliot]

Y u no get on MSN?

Sup hipster ******.

I am, you just never show up.

[Kain]

Kain, everyone basically tells me the same thing. That I have a lot of potential but I never use it. I've basically followed the same path as you except took up programming instead of all that with music. I can if I wanted to, hang out with the "preps" due to football reasons. However, I choose not to because they mostly act immature and tend to rip on me because I think differently then they do.

Same.
People are all idiots.

---------- Post added at 08:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:57 PM ----------

>complain about how nobody enjoys hanging out with him
>calls someone a hipster ******

You have no idea what a hipster is, do ya sonny?

[Chad]

I am, you just never show up.

You're never online.

[Kain]

Chad, you never added me.

[Elliot]

You're never online.

Wtf, try it now. Switched clients.

[Chad]

Chad, you never added me.

Never got a request.

[PrincessFluttershy]

Long story short, similar how I feel about everyday. This song kind of it hit on perfectly;

We get it, you supposedly have a girlfriend.
Fuck.

Luls. But yeah Kain, frankly, I'm sure there are people worse than you. You should remember that you truly don't need any one else's acknowledgement but you're own. That is why cynists like myself and yourself can thrive in the world. The world is full of people only using one another for whatever reason, but so long as you don't let your talents be abused, being recognized is not all that it's cracked up to be.

[Drakonid]

WTF is a Fran?
Also, tommyboy is online most of the time...
kainyboy, dunno about the attention thingy, but I know how it feels to be way under your potential.

[Kain]

Drak, I was hoping you'd post the giraffe.

[Drakonid]

I was going to.
But then thought srs thread is srs.

[Kain]

Srs giraffe is srs.

Vent thread is giraffe

[Drakonid]

[Kain]

[Supra]

*Build, *works.
got bored about it's all you. When you think about how many people out there that are actually suffering. Generations these days suck. It's all about me me me. You're life sucks. Don't care, tons of people's do. Suck it up and live it until you die. If you're not happy take the easy way out.

[Taz]

Every teen feels the same. They all say they arent worth anything, they are ugly, they dont get as much attention as they want. Ive heard it enough but i know where your coming from because i also feel the same. Mostly everyone puts on a act when they are out side with friends or family but deep inside they feel like shit or they are worthless. Its life thats why everyone calls it a bitch.

[Ethan]

Every teen feels the same. They all say they arent worth anything, they are ugly, they dont get as much attention as they want. Ive heard it enough but i know where your coming from because i also feel the same. Mostly everyone puts on a act when they are out side with friends or family but deep inside they feel like shit or they are worthless. Its life thats why everyone calls it a bitch.

I am different than any other teen. I am gorgeous. Attention doesn't mean shit to me.

[Jah]

Everybody has a potential in them but why they don't use it it's cause they are so lazy, I came was always great in school and Helped everyone with what i could, I also had great friends but when i got to the last year of middle school i got so much attention cause i spoke many languages and all and then i started being funny in class , Then i made jokes about people who were very nice to me and that attention brought me to the current situation of today, I have to go to private school cause i wasn't accepted in some schools and cause i was not working all year and had problems with my teachers, Made my dad Pay 7,000 euros for high school and lost all my Summer studying for next year and lost my best friend who went to the south of France, and Got So messed up and now i Just want to be left alone, No Friends who go out every night, No parents that give me too much attention so i'm not bossed around and Just want a pal that i don't see but that i Play with on the Pc or xbox360 and share the same interests cause I'm such a lazy ass and hate going out unless it's for Skating but wait, I can't skate this year cause i have to study every single night.
So you don't need any attention From anybody cause that won't help you win your life or pay your bills .
And not having attention made you work and i'm sure that when you got good grades you were mostly happy that it's YOU that did all the work.
If you keep wanting attention you won't even give attention to others who need it so just find someone that is like you, cause when we give attention to people like us they will only give you more of their interest and will want to make you feel good about yourself cause he cares and wants you to care about him/her too .
There are so many great people who are just like you but if you don't give anyone attention you won't get any in return.

Lol and i'm sorry if i wrote some crap that would be because of my dyslexia.