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Never shoplift....It sucks to get caught

1.1k views · started by Kint ·
#1
Never shoplift....It sucks to get caught
I shoplifted from Target, and spent the whole night in jail. Last night was just terrible.

I'll start from the beginning. I was in Target, and noticed some GBA SP's in a big pile. I suppose they were trying to get rid of some stock, and just made it readily availible for a customer to get without the help of an employee. I grabbed one, snuck off to where I thought there were no cameras, took the goods out of the box and put it in my pocket.

I don't even fucking know why I wanted one. I've got a brand new DS and perfectly fine GBA, I suppose I'm just a fucking retard. I got to the door and they had Mr. Big Security Dude waiting, just for me. The police came, asked for some ID. They almost didn't take me in because my license is still provisional and they thought I was under 18, but then the guy looked again and noticed I was born in 1989. So fuck me, I get dragged to the station. The shame is beyond my words, everybody looking at you as they escort you into the backseat.. Ugh.

I hated every fucking minute in that backseat, please dear god don't shoplift, this was worse than the cell. Cops just ragging and razzing you down to a point where you want to commit suicide. Just spewing insults and reminding me again and again how fucked I am. I don't even know yet how far Target is going to take this.

So we get to the station and they let me have a phonecall. I didn't want to call my mom, this is the last thing she needed. I knew she would find out eventually, but I wasn't in the mood for it right now.

But who the hell could I call? I had to think for awhile, and the guard looked impatient. The only person I could think of was my sister, who hasn't let me down yet.

I picked up the phone and called her, and told her everything that happened. She didn't say a word, I could tell she was frustrated and disappointed in me. But NOTHING could prepare me for what she replied.. Nothing. She said "S-A-F-E-T-Y"

Then the gaurd popped up behind me and screamed "DANCE!", He told me "We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine. I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find. And we can act like we come from out of this world leave the real one far behind,

And we can dance

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance.

Dancez!

Ah we can go when we want to the night is young and so am i
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise ’em with the victory cry

I say we can act if want to if we don’t nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we’re doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody takin’ the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah yes the safety dance

Ssss-aaaa-ffff-eeee-tttt-yyyy
Safety-dance

We can dance if we want to, we’ve got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything’ll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance we’re doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody’s takin’ the chance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah yes the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh yes the safety dance
Oh the safety dance yeah
Oh it’s the safety dance
It’s the safety dance
Well it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
#2
Someone got raped.
#3
...
Awkward.
#4
Did we just get trolled?
#5
Yes, yes indeed you did ;[ I was bored
#6
Gangbang .
#7
...I'm on my iPod on a small window, and I honestly thought the cop and you were dancing until I scrolle down a bit.

Man, you almost taught me a life lesson.

A lot of people here need to learn this lesson. First it's stealing accounts, and you eventually think you can get by with it in life.

hao do I change ip irl???
#8
Essence wrote:
...I'm on my iPod on a small window, and I honestly thought the cop and you were dancing until I scrolle down a bit.

Man, you almost taught me a life lesson.

A lot of people here need to learn this lesson. First it's stealing accounts, and you eventually think you can get by with it in life.

hao do I change ip irl???


made me lmao
#9
Essence wrote:
...I'm on my iPod on a small window, and I honestly thought the cop and you were dancing until I scrolle down a bit.

Man, you almost taught me a life lesson.

A lot of people here need to learn this lesson. First it's stealing accounts, and you eventually think you can get by with it in life.

hao do I change ip irl???





xD <3 I love ittt
#10
Ever really got caught shoplifting though?
I did, me and my friends went to Toys R Us, and we had these contraptions that if you put a game or something inside, the alarm would not go off. These two guys my friends brought ran right when they crossed the alarms. I got left behind cause I was stupefied. They kept telling me i was a fucked up kid and my mom wouldn't love me because of what I've done.

They told me to give 'em my name and number to call my parents.
I told 'em my name was Martin Rodriguez, even said it with an accent lawl. And told them we barely moved so we have no phone. xD
Got away with it.
Excepted they photo'd me, and banned me from there for as long as i look the same as the pic xD
#11
Because if friends dont dance. Well if they dont dance. Well they're no friends of mine!
#12
That was lame. I was ready to tell you how lame your story was because shoplifting is boring in the first place, then my lack of interest was merely followed by unexcitement. *yawn*
#13
GAMEchief wrote:
That was lame. I was ready to tell you how lame your story was because shoplifting is boring in the first place, then my lack of interest was merely followed by unexcitement. *yawn*


Because posts like this are entertaining. :)
#14
Artificial wrote:
Because posts like this are entertaining. :)


You're an aborted fetus.
#16
I just got owned D:

Lol I still havent got caught once. But every game I get wont work for my comp so I just give them away.
#17
#18
You caught me i was so in to the story you bitch lol i shoplifted alot when i was a kid :B
Who cares about the popo im a g.