How To Conquer The World

Let's plot coffin. We have control of sealand, what do we do now? I'm thinking we should start by getting ze cash by closing diplomatic relations with Taiwan and Georgia. Russia will pay us big cash to say that we accept Ossetia as a country, and China will pay us big cash to not accept Taiwan. That should be at least 10 mil right there. Also, we could go with the whole Swiss thing, let people launder there money through us.

ʝдɮ;82326 wrote:

Let's plot coffin. We have control of sealand, what do we do now? I'm thinking we should start by getting ze cash by closing diplomatic relations with Taiwan and Georgia. Russia will pay us big cash to say that we accept Ossetia as a country, and China will pay us big cash to not accept Taiwan. That should be at least 10 mil right there. Also, we could go with the whole Swiss thing, let people launder there money through us.

Good start, then we need to pick a side in terms of the Israel and Pakistan.
Then maybe saddle up with Cuba, they might give us money for accepting their time zone claims.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Good start, then we need to pick a side in terms of the Israel and Pakistan.
Then maybe saddle up with Cuba, they might give us money for accepting their time zone claims.

I'm Jewish, plus Israel by itself vs. Pakistan by itself is an automatic win. We should ally with israel.
Cuba doesn't have shit money, anything they ever had was because the Russians gave it to them for being allowed to build there.

What if we sold outselves to Israel secretly, in exchange for its alleigance, weapons, and moolah, we'd use the dirty guerilla warfare they aren't allowed to do. We'd be like Black Water.

ʝдɮ;82333 wrote:

I'm Jewish, plus Israel by itself vs. Pakistan by itself is an automatic win. We should ally with israel.
Cuba doesn't have shit money, anything they ever had was because the Russians gave it to them for being allowed to build there.

What if we sold outselves to Israel secretly, in exchange for its alleigance, weapons, and moolah, we'd use the dirty guerilla warfare they aren't allowed to do. We'd be like Black Water.

Nice.
From there we can sell weapons and use national forces as mercenary force to make money then when we have enough we should start bailing out America so they end up more in debt to us than they are to China at which point we can reposes it to cover our monetary losses.
With America we'll be able to increase our forces, technologies, and weapon holdings. That sets us up to invade Canada, followed by Mexico and from there we just march south till we own South America.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Nice.
From there we can sell weapons and use national forces as mercenary force to make money then when we have enough we should start bailing out America so they end up more in debt to us than they are to China at which point we can reposes it to cover our monetary losses.

Sounds good, plenty of investments to be made in guerilla forces in places such as Africa and the Middle East.

It sure would take a lot of money to put the US into more debt than it is in China. It generates millions of dollars of interest from debts every second.

You're starting off to big. Americas army is still one of the, if not the, biggest in the world. They also have nukes, even if they are to pussy to use them. We should start with someone's economy that is easier to topple. I'm thinking some South Asian country.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

With America we'll be able to increase our forces, technologies, and weapon holdings. That sets us up to invade Canada, followed by Mexico and from there we just march south till we own South America.

Canada will be easy, especially since Russia will probably let us transport troops through the Siberian. The problem still being the United States itself.

Canada is allied with the US as is most of the Western Hemisphere.
We could probably take over Cuba without pissing anyone but Russia and Iran off.
Though Russia might be cool with it if we let them have a base there and kicked US out.

ʝдɮ;82340 wrote:

Sounds good, plenty of investments to be made in guerilla forces in places such as Africa and the Middle East.

It sure would take a lot of money to put the US into more debt than it is in China. It generates millions of dollars of interest from debts every second.

You're starting off to big. Americas army is still one of the, if not the, biggest in the world. They also have nukes, even if they are to pussy to use them. We should start with someone's economy that is easier to topple. I'm thinking some South Asian country.

I'm banking off the fact we could get enough money over a period of years while America pays off debt to China.
Still small works too. I was just hoping to go for big move allowing us a ton of power. If we reposes there is no fight there is just we own you now which is why I was seeking to win economically rather than by force.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Canada is allied with the US as is most of the Western Hemisphere.
We could probably take over Cuba without pissing anyone but Russia and Iran off.
Though Russia might be cool with it if we let them have a base there and kicked US out.

But Canada is almost as much of a pushover as Mexico. Piece of cake.

I do like the idea of taking over Cuba. We could start using the American's "enclosure" policy that they used during the Cold War.

Wow interesting plan..

ʝдɮ;82352 wrote:

But Canada is almost as much of a pushover as Mexico. Piece of cake.

I do like the idea of taking over Cuba. We could start using the American's "enclosure" policy that they used during the Cold War.

Yes Canada is push over but America is in agreement to go to war with them if anyone attacks them so...we'd get fucked hard.
Cuba is safe since its not allied with America.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Yes Canada is push over but America is in agreement to go to war with them if anyone attacks them so...we'd get fucked hard.
Cuba is safe since its not allied with America.

Cuba and... We could do Columbia. I think we could overthrow the government pretty easily with the Drug Cartel behind us. That would give us major income as well as some control of South America.

I just found a big hole in our plan. Sealand is not considered a nation by the UN, so the original plan to make money that way will not work. Perhaps one of the micronesian islands? They have 15k or less people some of them.

ʝдɮ;82368 wrote:

Cuba and... We could do Columbia. I think we could overthrow the government pretty easily with the Drug Cartel behind us. That would give us major income as well as some control of South America.

I just found a big hole in our plan. Sealand is not considered a nation by the UN, so the original plan to make money that way will not work. Perhaps one of the micronesian islands? They have 15k or less people some of them.

Yeah we could get Columbia and S. America easily.

So let's just join the UN, not a big deal.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Yeah we could get Columbia and S. America easily.

So let's just join the UN, not a big deal.

Then climp up to Panama, control the canal, then attack north from South America to take Mexico, and east from Russian into Canada. Then we'll move South from Canada into the USA, North-west from Mexico and Northwest from Cuba. If we got in on some guerilla warfare we could take out some major city things, striking Americans politically, economically and socially, rather than just militarily.

If it was that easy... :/

Dude, won't work. US will mobilize when we attack Mexico and Canada to defend them. Our army is small and splinting will be a poor choice. Even if we took Mexico or Canada or both US army would already be mobilized and ready to meet us at the boarder. In theory we could go Viet-Cong and dig tunnel networks into America and come up out of the ground and hit stuff, but that would take too long and more forces than we'd have.

C0FFINCASE wrote:

Dude, won't work. US will mobilize when we attack Mexico and Canada to defend them. Our army is small and splinting will be a poor choice. Even if we took Mexico or Canada or both US army would already be mobilized and ready to meet us at the boarder. In theory we could go Viet-Cong and dig tunnel networks into America and come up out of the ground and hit stuff, but that would take too long and more forces than we'd have.

So you're saying that direct combat is the wrong approach, and I'm agreeing. Suicidal bombers, planes dropping out of the sky, and car bombs can bring around terror equivalent to that directly after 9/11.

Bumpage bumpage super funkage.