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In a perfect world

945 views · started by Kain ·
#1
In a perfect world
My ex would stop texting me at midnight every night.
#2
Be thankful you don't have her number on your car.
#3
Is your ex... a stalker!?!?!?!?!
If so...
send 'em over. ;D
#4
In a perfect world my girlfriend would turn around and bend over when I asked her to on webcam
#5
Be thankful her mom doesnt hit on you. >.>
/hashappenedtome.
#6
Also, she constantly flaunts her boy toys whenever i'm around.

I get payback by walking up to them, and saying "I've touched everything on her. She's used buddy."
#7
At least you have an ex :P
#8
ʝдɮ;69873 wrote:
At least you have an ex :P

Grow out your hair, get a smart ass attitude, learn guitar, and listen to people.

Trust me.
#9
Kain wrote:
Grow out your hair, get a smart ass attitude, learn guitar, and listen to people.

Trust me.


A: Tried. I get a jew-fro

B: I already have one

C: I suck balls at being musical

D: I do. I just ignore them at the same time

E: How would trusting you help?!
#10
xD.
My ex is a creepy stalker kid.

We were in class one day and he was like, I always see you and your mom.

And i was like, okay?

And my stupid friend was like, She was at mcdonalds last night.

Like giving away where i go and shit.
#11
I will stalk you to McDonalds and rape you with fries <.<
#12
ʝдɮ;69876 wrote:
A: Tried. I get a jew-fro

B: I already have one

C: I suck balls at being musical

D: I do. I just ignore them at the same time

E: How would trusting you help?!


A. Buy a straightener.

B. You're not using it right.

C. Get better, try playing Rockband on drums, get some rhythm.

D. Bad. Actually listen, but act like your not, and surprise them later.

E. Because I'm a god.
#13
Kain wrote:
A. Buy a straightener.

B. You're not using it right.

C. Get better, try playing Rockband on drums, get some rhythm.

D. Bad. Actually listen, but act like your not, and surprise them later.

E. Because I'm a god.



A: Seems girly

B: How do I use it wrong

C: Not musical. At all

D: Oh, so I should be doing the reverse of what I'm doing? :P

E: Damn you're good <.<
#14
ʝдɮ;69882 wrote:
I will stalk you to McDonalds and rape you with fries <.<


No its scary.
Like, we were in Mcdonalds drive through, and he was standing on this cement slab when we went in drive thru, when we went all the way around he was gone....

And i saw him walking the street, the same time i was taking my bro home...
#15
ʝдɮ;69885 wrote:
A: Seems girly

B: How do I use it wrong

C: Not musical. At all

D: Oh, so I should be doing the reverse of what I'm doing? :P

E: Damn you're good <.<

A. Since when is getting ass girly?

B. It has to be thinly veiled, and constant. they have to wonder whether or not you're trying to be a smartass.

C. Try.

D. Yes.

E. i know.
#16
My brother uses my straightner.
>.>
#17
Tell her to leave you the fuck alone. That's how I got mine to stop texting me.
#18
Kain wrote:
A. Since when is getting ass girly?

B. It has to be thinly veiled, and constant. they have to wonder whether or not you're trying to be a smartass.

C. Try.

D. Yes.

E. i know.


A: You win

B: I'm that way in front of my history teacher, why isn't she drooling over me <.<

C: I've tried with 5 instruments over 7 years

D: Damn, and here I thought I was doing it right

E: Of course you know, you're omniscient
#19
Wouldn't the simplest solution to your problem be to talk to your phone company and have them block her texts?
#20
ʝдɮ;69894 wrote:
A: You win

B: I'm that way in front of my history teacher, why isn't she drooling over me <.<

C: I've tried with 5 instruments over 7 years

D: Damn, and here I thought I was doing it right

E: Of course you know, you're omniscient

B. she's older, most likely married, and thinks of you as less than her.

C. Guess you suck.

D. You weren't.
#21
Kain wrote:
B. she's older, most likely married, and thinks of you as less than her.

C. Guess you suck.

D. You weren't.


B: Yes, yes and if she does she is so, SOOOO wrong D:<

C: Only when it's hard

D: We covered that
#22
GAMEchief wrote:
Tell her to leave you the fuck alone. That's how I got mine to stop texting me.


Tried, she's a fucking crazy bitch. I give it a week before i get my brother to get me a new cell phone.
#23
ʝдɮ;69895 wrote:
Wouldn't the simplest solution to your problem be to talk to your phone company and have them block her texts?


10 characters
#24
Kain wrote:
Tried, she's a fucking crazy bitch. I give it a week before i get my brother to get me a new cell phone.


Spam her texts. Talk about how great the sex is that you're currently having, or how awesome the Ramen you're eating it. Or how your new g/f is so much better than her in every way. Or how your ex was just a hot piece of ass for you to gawk at. Or how hard it is to get your poop to come out 'cause you're so constipated.
#25
GAMEchief wrote:
Spam her texts. Talk about how great the sex is that you're currently having, or how awesome the Ramen you're eating it. Or how your new g/f is so much better than her in every way. Or how your ex was just a hot piece of ass for you to gawk at. Or how hard it is to get your poop to come out 'cause you're so constipated.

Will do.
#26
ʝдɮ;69895 wrote:
Wouldn't the simplest solution to your problem be to talk to your phone company and have them block her texts?


10 characters