I wrote a poem :D

Okay, it was a quick on the spot poem. I would love constructive criticism, but dont just write DIZ SUCKS KBYE If you dont like it, give reason, give opinions, give personal interpretations, give advice, poetry isn't my jam, but it was an assignment.

This poem does not even have a name, I fail:

In this amaruotic light,
I find no need for sight;
I lead with apprehension,
Me, myself, and I.

The path I walk is somber,
Dispairs me as I stride;
But a salubrious attempt,
As I grasp the bottom line.

Perhaps you can't distinguish,
Interpret, sympathize;
Why I execute such things;
Afflicting, addling, lies.

I do it to conserve you,
For I love and cherish thou.
I see the pain beyond your eyes;
And alluring, worrying, brow.

My intentions indeed are righteous;
To bring forth a master piece;
For you to use so willingly,
Your agony surceased.

My plan from there transparent,
Live so blissfully;
Reminisce the path we chose to walk,
In angelic harmony.


Very basic rhythm, very simple flow. Ohwell. Failure is the first steps toward success.

I like it |:

You like it but with a straight face? xD Lol, no matter; thank you for the opinion

Here's some advice: lay down the thesaurus kbye

gotxbrain wrote:

Here's some advice: lay down the thesaurus kbye

I didn't use a thesaurus. >.<

sure you didn't. whatever you say.

ccgamer wrote:

You like it but with a straight face? xD Lol, no matter; thank you for the opinion

i dont suck up so u can know that i do like it but w/e

~Chaos~ wrote:

i dont suck up so u can know that i do like it but w/e

Ohhhhh. Good plan bro.

gotxbrain wrote:

Here's some advice: lay down the thesaurus kbye

I'm not really sure why she'd need a thesaurus to know those words. The only words conceivably out of common place would be salubrious and amaurotic. Oh well haters gonna hate.

Personally I feel the rhyme scheme is slightly off. Other than that I think it's bueno.

CL0V3R wrote:

I'm not really sure why she'd need a thesaurus to know those words. The only words conceivably out of common place would be salubrious and amaurotic. Oh well haters gonna hate.

Personally I feel the rhyme scheme is slightly off. Other than that I think it's bueno.

Thanks Clover. The whole thing IS a little off, because every time I read, I seem to read it in a different way. Amaruotic, derived from the Greek term dark or obscure;when I said amaruotic light, I used it as an oxymoron. Salubrious just means "worthy, having value" .I didn't need a thesaurus; I just have a wide vocabulary.

ccgamer wrote:

Thanks Clover. The whole thing IS a little off, because every time I read, I seem to read it in a different way. Amaruotic, derived from the Greek term dark or obscure;when I said amaruotic light, I used it as an oxymoron. Salubrious just means "worthy, having value" .I didn't need a thesaurus; I just have a wide vocabulary.

Lol I caught that. C:
Actually salubrious is closer to meaning healthy/pleasant.
: o

CL0V3R wrote:

Lol I caught that. C:
Actually salubrious is closer to meaning healthy/pleasant.
: o

Really!!! Omg. My teacher was wrong. Lol. Ill go tell her, when I get back to school. I am currently suspended.

ccgamer wrote:

Really!!! Omg. My teacher was wrong. Lol. Ill go tell her, when I get back to school. I am currently suspended.

How'd you manage to get suspended? D:

CL0V3R wrote:

How'd you manage to get suspended? D:

I got in an argument with the dean, because she was clearly on her period and being a female dog about everything. I got in trouble for stupid shit, and was extremely pissed.

That sucks. D: Well at least you get a stay-cation. Lol

CL0V3R wrote:

That sucks. D: Well at least you get a stay-cation. Lol

Yup, and all I have to do is explain to my dad, how its completely not my fault