Poem by shinu

one day
i awoke in a haze
my mind felt blasted
i knew i was still blazed
that blunt really lasted
my face felt crazed
i felt sorta distracted
i was in a maze
couldnt get out
i was really dazed
jolted up right
lost track of the days


Eh. was bored so i wrote a poem on the spot.
rate it 1-10, 1 being the worst

3 .

Shinu wrote:

one day
I woke in a haze
my mind felt blasted
i was still blazed
that blunt really lasted
my face felt crazed
i felt pretty distracted
my head was a maze
couldnt get out
i was really dazed
jolted up right
lost track of the days


Eh. was bored so i wrote a poem on the spot.
rate it 1-10, 1 being the worst

I'll have to give it a 3 also. Sorry bro. Things you might want to consider or change is how well it flows. Say it aloud.

"I felt sorta distracted
I was in a maze"
doesn't seem to click at all. Instead, I'd say. I fix'd your post so read it to see my corrections. The part I bolded is the part I didn't understand or didn't know why it was there.

I'd say 4 out of 10. I've definitely heard worse but the flow is off and rhyming daze with days also throws it off.

I would have to say 3 / 10

It's poorly put together, and isnt very strong :\

Rhyme is days and daze made it bad, i feel like, this mite be an exaggeration, you get 5/10.