Pokemon

**C0FFINCASE** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:31am

I remember when there were only 150 of you
Well, technically 151 if you are counting Mew, but I digress
I guess I spent the best years of my little life
Surfing Cinnabar Island to get 126 Revives
And I miss the Pokémon Center
I miss its music too
And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water
Pokémon, what happened to you?

In the old days, you only got one form of every kind
I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn’t even have to try
But now you’ve shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs
Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn’t used for sex
I miss the cycling road, don’t you know
I miss the music too
And I can’t believe you used to be in black and white
Pokémon, what happened to you

Now Legendary means nothing to me
Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty
And I only want three choices for my Eevee
I don’t want a rival if his name is not Gary

And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don’t know

I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier
I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it
I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon
I don’t accept your Leaf Green, they’ll always be Red and Blue to me

Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown
The spelled the words “I’m sorry on behalf of Nintendo
We don’t get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so
And the Pokédex was fine, it didn’t need a radio”
I miss the Team Rocket hideout
And I miss the music too
And why have shinies if they’re so impossible to find
Pokémon, what happened to you
Pokémon, what happened to you

And I’ll never again experience that joy of mine
Because you are incompatible with my brand new DSi

**Drakonid** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:40am

You liked the song, we get it.

18 Apr. 2010 01:46am

Nice poem (Too short)

**C0FFINCASE** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:48am

Originally Posted by Drakonid

You liked the song, we get it.

Screw you. I do what I want.

June 23rd 1991
Let loose, I knew you were born to run
Six zones, one boss, it was all I needed
Dashing, ring collecting, unimpeded

But now you’re everything from half a werewolf to a race car driver
You’ve lost some weight and your eyes are greener than I recall
And as I understand there was a game where you became King Arthur
Bring back the days when playing Sonic was still cool

Keep your princesses cos
Sonic doesn’t need a story
He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart
Sega, learn from your mistakes
Now it’s time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don’t care anymore

We accepted Tails and Knuckles too
Flickies took some time but they were cute
Chaotix started to push my patience
Amy Rose was an abomination

His name could be Robotnik, but it could be Eggman, what’s it matter
As long as he still has that flying egg machine
Don’t let me play as him or tell me more about his dead grandfather
Just swing his marble ball and chain across the screen

Keep your Olympic games cos
Sonic doesn’t need a story
He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart
Sega, learn from your mistakes
Now it’s time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don’t care anymore

Don’t want Silver
Don’t want Dark Gaia
Don’t want Rouge the bat
Don’t want Blaze the cat
Don’t want Shadow
Don’t want Shadow
Don’t want Shadow
Don’t want Shadow

Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound
Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound

**Slowpoke** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:49am

Updating pokemon and screwing everything you loved, each remake and new generation is how nintendo makes money. It keeps people buying them. I bought HG the day it came out :\

18 Apr. 2010 01:49am

"Toothed vagina," the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse. Frued said, "Probably no male human being is spared the terrifying shock of threatened castration at the sight of female genitals." But he had the reason wrong. The real reason for this "terrifying shock" is a mouth-symbolism, now recognized universally in myth and fantasy: "It is well-known in psychiatry that both males and females fantasize as a mouth the female's entranceway to the vagina."

The more patriarchal the society, the more fear seems to be aroused by the fantasy. Men of Malekula, having overthrown their matriarchate, were haunted by a yonic spirit called "that which draws us to It so that It may devour us." The Yanomamo said one of the first beings on earth was a woman whose vagina became a toothed mouth and bit off her consort's penis. Chinese patriarchs said women's genitals were not only gateways to immortality but also "executioners of men." Moslem aphorisms said: "Three things are insatiable: the desert, the grave, and a woman's vulva." Polynesians said the savior-god Maui tried to find eternal life by crawling into the mouth (or vagina) of his mother Hina, in effect trying to return to the womb of the Creatress; but she bit him in two and killed him.

Stories of the devouring Mother are ubiquitous in myths, representing the death-fear which the male psyche often transformed into a sex-fear. Ancient writings describe the male sexual function not as "taking" or "posessing" the female, but rather "being taken" or "putting forth." Ejaculation was viewed as a loss of a man's vital force, which was "eaten" by a woman. The Greek sema ir "semen: meant both "seed" and "food." Sexual "consummation" was the same as "consuming" (the male). Many savages still have the same imagery. The Yanomam

rd for pregnant also means satiated or full-fed; and "to eat" is the same as "to copulate."

Distinction between mouths and female genitals was blurred by the Greek idea of the laminae -- lustful she-demons, born of the Libyan snake-goddess Lamia. Their name meant either "lecherous vaginas" or "gluttonous gullets." Lamia was a Greek name for the divine female serpent called Kundalini in India, Uraeus or Per-Uatchet in Egypt, and Lamashtu in Babylon. Her Babylonian consort was Pazuzu, he of the serpent penis. Lamia's legend, with its notion that males are born to be eaten, led to Pliny's report on the sexual lives of snakes which was widely believed throughout Europe even up to the 20th century: a male snake fertilizes the female snake by putting his head into her mouth and allowing himself to be eaten.

Sioux Indians told a tale similar to that of the Lamia. A beautiful seductive woman accepted the love of a young warrior and united with him inside a cloud. When the cloud lifted, the woman stood alone. The man was a heap of bones being gnawed by snakes at her feet.

Mouth and vulva were equated in many Egyptian myths. Ma-Nu, the western gate whereby the sun god daily re-entered his Mother, was sometimes a "cleft" (yoni) and sometimes a "mouth." Priestesses of Bast, representing the Goddess, drew up their skirts to display their genitals during religious processions. To the Greeks, such a display was frightening. Bellerophon fled in terror from Lycian women advancing on him with genitals exposed, and even the sea god Poseidon retreated, for fear they might swallow him.

According to Philostratus, magical women "by arousing sexual desire seek to devour whom they wish." To the patriarchal Persians and Moslems this seemed a distinct possibility. Viewing women's mouths as either obscene, dangerous, or overly seductive, they insisted on veiling them. Yet men's mouths, which look no different, were not viewed as threatening.

"Mouth" comes from the same root as "mother" -- Anglo-Saxon muth, also related to the Egyptian Goddess Mut. Vulvas have labiae, "lips," and many men have believed that behind the lips lie teeth. Christian authorities of the Middle Ages taught that certain witches, with the help of the moon and magic spells, could grow fangs in their vaginas. They likened women's genitals to the "yawning" mouth of hell, though this was hardly original; the underworld gate had always been the yoni of Mother Hel. It has always "yawned" -- from Middle English yonen, another derivatave of "yoni." A German vulgarity meaning "cunt," Fotze in parts of Bavaria meant simply "mouth."

To Christian ascetics, Hell-mouth and the vagina drew upon the same ancient symbolism. Both were equated with the womb-symbol of the whale that swallowed Jonah; according to this "prophecy" the Hell-mouth swallowed Christ (as Hina swallowed her son Maui) and kept him for three days. Visionary trips to hell often read like "a description of the experience of being born, but in reverse, as if the child was being drawn into the womb and destroyed there, instead of being formed and given life." St. Teresa of Avila said her vision of a visit to hell was "an oppression, a suffocation, and an affliction so agonizing, and accompanied by such a hopeless and distressing misery that n

rds I could find would adequately describe it. To say that it was as if my soul were being continuously torn fro my body is as nothing."

The archetypal image of "devouring" female genitals seems undeniably alive even in the modern world. "Males in our culture are so afraid of direct contact with female genitalia, and are even afraid of referring to these genitalia themselves; they largely displace their feelings to the accessory sex organs -- the hips, legs, breasts, buttocks, etc. -- and they give these accessory sex organs an exaggerated interest and desirability." Even here, the male scholar inexplicably "displaces" the words sex organ onto structures that have nothing to do with sexual functioning.

Looking into, touching, entering the female orifice seems fraught with hidden fears, signified by the confusion of sex with death in overwhelming numbers of male minds and myths. Psychiatrists says sex is perceived by the male unconscious as dying: "Every orgasm is a little death: the death of the 'little man,' the penis." Here indeed is the root of ascetic religions that equated the denial of death with the denial of sex.

Moslems attributed all kinds of dread powers to a vulva. It could "bite off" a man's eye-beam, resulting in blindness for any man who looked into its cavity. A sultan of Damascus was said to have lost his sight in this manner. Christian legend claimed he went to Sardinia to be cured of his blindness by a miraculous idol of the Virgin Mary -- who, being eternally virgin, had her door-mouth permanently closed by a veil-hymen.

Apparently Freud was wrong in assuming that men's fear of female genitals was based on the idea that the female had been castrated. The fear was much less empathetic, and more personal: a fear of being devoured, of experiencing the birth trauma in reverse. A Catholic scholar's curious description of the Hell-mouh as a womb inadvertently reveals this idea: "When we think of man entering hell we think of him as establishing contact with the most intrinsic, unified, ultimate and deepest level of the reality of the world."

**C0FFINCASE** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:50am

Originally Posted by Slowpoke

Updating pokemon and screwing everything you loved, each remake and new generation is how nintendo makes money. It keeps people buying them. I bought HG the day it came out :\

As a result you are full of fail.
If you didn't go buy it on the day it came out we'd have a chance

I feel so confident right now
As my friends all ask me how they throw an item or utilise the drift
My character of choice is Yoshi
He can be good off-road but mostly I play him cos he’s cute, I’ll admit

The race starts … and I stalled!
I stalled the car again
I held A down a bit too early
And all my mates are laughing as they drive right past me
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii

And now I’m stuck in 12th place
I’m gonna lose this race; trailing in Donkey Kong’s tyre tracks
So I get a power-up
I don’t expect too much, but oh my god, Bullet Bill – now I’m back!
In first place in no time
And my mates can’t see why Nintend

uld make a game that’s so unfair
They’re feeling pretty angry, but I’m just princess peachy
I’m winning so I don’t really care

But someone gets a blue shell!
And I crash
The kart flips over again
Why don’t they put a wall there!?
Nothing I could do but watch it roll into the sea
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii

I’m still in the lead
But they’re catching up to me
I’ll get a power-up and I’ll be fine
Another banana skin
Upside-down boxes wearing thin
I think I had more fun when I was behind
This is the only game I’ve played
Where winning just feels lame
And losing is where all the fun takes place
And there are no red shells for me
All I have is apathy for this never-ending, three-lap funless race

The game ends – AND I’M SECOND!
I lost the race again
How did he get Invincibility!?
Fucking Waluigi stole my victory
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii

Everybody sing!

**Slowpoke** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:52am

As a result you are full of fail.
If you didn't go buy it on the day it came out we'd have a chance

But almost every other person went out and bought it DX

Toothed vagina," the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse. Frued said, "Probably no male human being is spared the terrifying shock of threatened castration at the sight of female genitals." But he had the reason wrong. The real reason for this "terrifying shock" is a mouth-symbolism, now recognized universally in myth and fantasy: "It is well-known in psychiatry that both males and females fantasize as a mouth the female's entranceway to the vagina."

WTF? XD

**C0FFINCASE** · 18 Apr. 2010 01:55am

Originally Posted by Defy

"Stories of the devouring Mother are ubiquitous in myths, representing the death-fear which the male psyche often transformed into a sex-fear. Ancient writings describe the male sexual function not as "taking" or "posessing" the female, but rather "being taken" or "putting forth." Ejaculation was viewed as a loss of a man's vital force, which was "eaten" by a woman. The Greek sema ir "semen: meant both "seed" and "food." Sexual "consummation" was the same as "consuming" (the male). Many savages still have the same imagery. The Yanomam

rd for pregnant also means satiated or full-fed; and "to eat" is the same as "to copulate."

YouTube - Pink Floyd The Wall fornicating flowers

**Hellsome** · 18 Apr. 2010 02:37am

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

**Gabe** · 18 Apr. 2010 03:33am

Originally Posted by C0FFINCASE

YouTube - Pink Floyd The Wall fornicating flowers

*Points to sig* Great movie.

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