Life is so complicated sometimes...

[Gabe]

Listen up kiddies, it's story time. Well basically it's me going to be venting and stuff, but get over it.

Let's start at the beginning, last summer. At this point in time I was liking this girl and stuff and when I got my new phone my friend gave me her number. I should also mention that I had problems with depression at this time too. But, going back to the main topic, I started texting this girl through the summer. We really connected and all that and eventually ended up dating shortly after school started. Now it gets complicated. About two or three months in, she says I love you and I say it too. And I really fucking meant it. A lot. And so, that little feeling continued for two months or so and I really enjoyed it. Then over a period of a few weeks I started to get this weird felling while talking to her. Just this nagging in the back of my head. Then, around Christmas and the ensuing break, I told her about it, saying I would get over it and stuff. Well, I didn't really and it came to a head again like four days ago and I finally admitted to her and myself that I didn't really love her anymore, and maybe even didn't like her. Obviously that caused a problem. First she was angry I lied to her and I felt like shit and I meant it when I said I was sorry. Then she convinced me to stay because I realized that I still do at least like her and she said she really needed me in her life and I believed her. The next two days I had the same feeling, a little less, but still there. It was basically me arguing with myself whether to break up with her or not. Eventually, I told my mom about it, kind of, leaving out some key parts, and the feeling almost totally went away. We were together for a few hours ago and I really enjoyed just sitting and talking to her and for a few moments the feeling went away. I should also add that I don't really have to argue with it anymore because I can just ignore it. The only problem I have is that one, it's still there, though getting smaller, and two, it will be just so hard to come back from this. This isn't the same situation as the summer. I know I still like her and am attached to her though. I just think that I really need to get over the stupid things I've done and said and really try again the whole relationship thing. I still want to be with her, I just don't know how. I know I won't give up any time soon, assuming nothing gets worse. I just don't know. Things are hard. I want her, yet at the same time I sometimes don't. Sometimes she bores me, but that's usually only when she's in a bad mood or is really distracted or something. I just need help or something. I want everything to be back to the way it was, but I know it never will be exactly like that again. I want to fall in love with her again, and think I could. I just need to get over all this. Plus, I feel like I should have someone I can trust to talk to relationship problems to in the future. Which is what Lg is being a substitute for right now. Any comments?......also on a side not; I can't really imagine my life without her and don't want her to leave yet at the same time sometimes I fell like I just can't do this. I'm like filled with doubt. I want it to go away. Help

[Snow-kun]

You don't know if you still love her?
You still love her. Thats the answer because you still don't want to leave her.

Try to get into her hobbies or favorite things. That will help.

[Shadow]

I can't believe I read everything.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me.

I suggest you break up with her if you are having doubts.
Go out, date some other people, and if you still think about her, then get back together.

[Drakonid]

Well, apparently you do feel something, I don't know if I would call it love, but you can't simply ignore it.

[Gabe]

I don't want to break up though. I don't want anyone else. Almost no one else interests me. Besides, I am HORRIBLE with girls. Besides, shes the kind of person whuldn't want to get back together. Ugh, I'm just gonna force myself to get through it. That's the only way this relationship can go anywhere.

[Gabe]

I might add that just getting this stuff out there to someone besides her made me feel better. It did when I talked to my mom and it kind of did now.

[CL0V3R]

I think you probably still love her, there are just things about her that make you frustrated and kind make you annoyed with her. Relationships always have those kinds of moments, the best thing you can do is talk about the relationship and get those things that frustrate you off your chest. Another thing is as soon as that nagging feeling starts, talk to your girlfriend about it. The key to a good relationship is communication. Even if it hurts you and her to talk about, in the end it's for the best. When you do that how ever don't make any rash decisions at that moment, wait until a few days after to see if it's what you really want. After a while talking about this shit will seem more natural, even I have problems talking about things with my boyfriend but I'm starting to get better at it. If you ever need to talk though, just shoot me a pm.
Just hang in there, and if doesn't work out, or you decide you really don't want to be with her, just be honest and don't beat yourself up for any decision you make!

[Drakonid]

I can't believe nobody said "tl;dr" yet

[Gabe]

Thanks everyone. I actually feel good for getting the whole story out there and I believe I really do want to stay with her.

[Coak]

Was expecting OP's mom to get scared and send him to his aunt and uncle's house in Bel-Air.

[SN Art]

Haha that happens, sometimes she bores me and makes me mad,but once we hang out again everything is fine.
Im sure you still love her, you two just need something new in ur relationship, no not sex, but like, soemthing both of you would love tto do together.

[Gabe]

Thanks SN thats a good idea. Only problem is we never have free time We both have basketball......hmmm theres an idea.

[Gabe]

Same here. Naggings going away too.