Conversations with a 21 year old drunk girl who considers me her therapist

[Kain]

Her:<picture of booze>
Me: Drinking is no way to deal with your problems.
Hery therapist is 16 and has problems of his own. This is why I talk to u: ur sarcasm is amusing and ur the tall brother I never had
Me: Actually my problems have all sorta worked out.
Her:Good us deserve a happy ending in life
Me: Everyone does, and in a weird was, everyone gets once.
Herifes meant to be awesome. And my problems have resolved too and thats not the beer talking
Me: Well, don't drink too much, hangovers suck.
Her: I does [my mother's name] wrk tuesday u should skip school n go to sephora
Me: I have no idea if she does, but I have exams. I get out at 2 though.
Her:We'll go at lik 4 probably. But ur brtohers home so we could go after i understand. I need more umpa lumpa makeup soon tho muhahaha
Me: I need more smelly stuff
Her: spen time with ur brother vs. Smelly stuff? Smelly stuff it is then? Lol.
Me: Totally.
Her: The ceiling is moving i like cake
Me: Go to bed [name], before you pass out.
Her: Im not drunk yet. All guys are dickfaces
Me: I'm pretty sure you're drunk, dick isn't in your vocabulary.
Her: Dont tell them i like chinese noodles
Me: I'll be sure not to.

[Beyoncé]

I don't get it.

[Stormie]

Is she mentally retarded? Normal people, from my experiences, are not that dumb when intoxicated

[Izaya]

Is she mentally retarded? Normal people, from my experiences, are not that dumb when intoxicated

Depends on the level of intoxication, as well as the resistance of the person.

[BooBearSH]

Grammar or gtfo. Drinking is a depressant. All it does is make you more depressed when you feel depressed already. Describe why it isn't a good option next time. Of course if you told me not to drink Mountain Dew I'd tell you to go to Hell, but if you told me that it causes STD"s, I might reconsider it.(total fake example btw, don't think about it)