Rant / whine thread and why I'm not on as much.

[CL0V3R]

In b4 first world problems. Lol

Anyways I thought I'd give an explanation on why I haven't been on as much and won't be on for a bit starting the 28th or 2nd.
I also think I just really need to vent somewhere. If this comes off too emo or what ever please feel free to make fun of me.

Lately things here have been kind of hectic. A few months back my mom was diagnosed with possibly having cancer of the thyroid. Now that they've run all the test they say she's cancer free but still can't figure out what's making her sick. Since then she's been a complete hypochondriac ranging from thinking she still has cancer because she could "feel" it to lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, to parasites, to "feeling" her blood clot, thinking she's having a heart attack, ect. She keeps going to extremely lengths to make people do things for her such as using "she has cancer" (which she doesn't according to her tests) to make people do things for her. At one point she used she was dying and could feel the cancer as a way to force me to go to a concert when I was extremely ill. Then proceeded to tell me I was horrible child because I was selfish and she has cancer. It's like that almost every day now. It wouldn't be so bad if she actually knew what she was talking about too. She keeps saying she can feel it attacking her lymph nodes or that the h pylori she possibly has came from the parasitic ulcers cause by fungus infections which correlates to the chronic fatigue because she can feel her blood clotting? (So many things wrong with that logic lol) Its gotten to the point where almost every day now she has me check from something that she finds strange. Like thinking she has a blood clot because her vain looks puffy. Or so many other things. The other day we got a dog because she wanted it. With in two hours she pawned it off on me. Which was fine because I actually really liked him. Anyways she freaked out two days later and was saying we had to take him back because she's going to get parasites! Just touching him would give her parasites! (Though he didn't have any.) Oh and the funny thing is she doesn't know what a parasite is. I shit you not she asked me, what's a parasite? We had to take him back then and there and she kept exaggerating and saying he had kennel cough and possible lyme disease because he had one tick. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't saying she wanted to killer herself every two seconds. Or saying things like if I did you wouldn't even know. Which is some really fucked up shit considering my best friend killed himself so I already have issues with that plus she's my mom. So she's pretty much driving me off the deep end. Especially when I don't do something she wants she calls me selfish and horrible.


The second thing which has been going on is my grandpa on my father's side has been very ill. I'm extremely close to him since he was the only person on my father's side that I was allowed contact with. I guess they gave him some shot for his arthritis and he reacted badly with it. I might be going up to see him the 28th or the 2nd of this month and stay in California for ten days. I haven't seen him since I was a kid.

The third thing which is getting sort of better is Jeff hasn't been very supportive during this. I don't want to say anything bad about him because he is a really good guy but there are times where he acts in a way that is mildly hurtful. Like when I was originally telling him about my mom and the crazy things going on he'd say "That sucks I'm sorry... Anyways today at work this lady was such a bitch... stupid cunt whining about netflix" Which I understand his job is hard and I've told him its totally fine to look for a new one but he doesn't want to. The thing is he does it with every job, so the last three years we've been together I've been helping him with that or his other problems. Though its really hard for him to listen to mine and maybe I shouldn't be bothering him with it. Its hard to go outside with him because he's really negative and always thinks someone is going to attack us or something bad is going to happen. Like some teenagers asked if they could have some money for their two year old son and Jeff freaked out. He was saying he was about ready to shoot them. (later he said he didn't mean it.) He also was mad because I didn't unlock the door fast enough, though it was unlocked and I just couldn't open it because I had boxes on top of me. So sometimes when he gets upset he'll yell at me even if its someone else's fault. Or like if I bother him when he's playing games or even looking at stuff on ebay he gets really mad. In fact if I bother him at all while he's on the computer he gets really snappy. So I just try to leave him alone for the most part. Its just hard because sometimes he'll forget I exist. He's gotten a lot better though, at one point in time when the new call of duty came out a year or two ago he played almost everyday for over 8 hours and only talked to me during dinner. There was a whole month where we didn't even socialize with each other because he was playing games and would get mad if I dragged him away. Lately he's been drinking more too which is okay just that he's really mood swingy when he drinks. He'll start out super nice then freak out then go back to nice again.

Its just hard because there are so many people, family and other wise, that rely on me but I don't really have anyone to talk to because I'm afraid of troubling people with my problems. At least I'll give Jeff he's been trying harder kind of.

Then the finial thing would be my health. I don't want to make anyone worry but I really need to get my ass to the doctor. I don't think I'm dying or anything so don't worry! I don't have health insurance and I don't qualify for it at the moment because of my preexisting conditions. What sucks is I really need to go because lately I've been spitting up small amounts of blood and my right side has been in constant pain. I'm sure it will be okay it just worries me because its been really hard for me to go out because of how sick I've been. Anyways that's my life in a nut shell pretty much.


Anyways
TL;DR version: My mom is turning into a hypochondriac and threatening to kill herself.
My boyfriend is kind of a jerk at times, my grandpa is really sick/dying, and I'm sick.

[Taz]

In b4 first world problems. Lol

Anyways I thought I'd give an explanation on why I haven't been on as much and won't be on for a bit starting the 28th or 2nd.
I also think I just really need to vent somewhere. If this comes off too emo or what ever please feel free to make fun of me.

Lately things here have been kind of hectic. A few months back my mom was diagnosed with possibly having cancer of the thyroid. Now that they've run all the test they say she's cancer free but still can't figure out what's making her sick. Since then she's been a complete hypochondriac ranging from thinking she still has cancer because she could "feel" it to lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, to parasites, to "feeling" her blood clot, thinking she's having a heart attack, ect. She keeps going to extremely lengths to make people do things for her such as using "she has cancer" (which she doesn't according to her tests) to make people do things for her. At one point she used she was dying and could feel the cancer as a way to force me to go to a concert when I was extremely ill. Then proceeded to tell me I was horrible child because I was selfish and she has cancer. It's like that almost every day now. It wouldn't be so bad if she actually knew what she was talking about too. She keeps saying she can feel it attacking her lymph nodes or that the h pylori she possibly has came from the parasitic ulcers cause by fungus infections which correlates to the chronic fatigue because she can feel her blood clotting? (So many things wrong with that logic lol) Its gotten to the point where almost every day now she has me check from something that she finds strange. Like thinking she has a blood clot because her vain looks puffy. Or so many other things. The other day we got a dog because she wanted it. With in two hours she pawned it off on me. Which was fine because I actually really liked him. Anyways she freaked out two days later and was saying we had to take him back because she's going to get parasites! Just touching him would give her parasites! (Though he didn't have any.) Oh and the funny thing is she doesn't know what a parasite is. I shit you not she asked me, what's a parasite? We had to take him back then and there and she kept exaggerating and saying he had kennel cough and possible lyme disease because he had one tick. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't saying she wanted to killer herself every two seconds. Or saying things like if I did you wouldn't even know. Which is some really fucked up shit considering my best friend killed himself so I already have issues with that plus she's my mom. So she's pretty much driving me off the deep end. Especially when I don't do something she wants she calls me selfish and horrible.


The second thing which has been going on is my grandpa on my father's side has been very ill. I'm extremely close to him since he was the only person on my father's side that I was allowed contact with. I guess they gave him some shot for his arthritis and he reacted badly with it. I might be going up to see him the 28th or the 2nd of this month and stay in California for ten days. I haven't seen him since I was a kid.

The third thing which is getting sort of better is Jeff hasn't been very supportive during this. I don't want to say anything bad about him because he is a really good guy but there are times where he acts in a way that is mildly hurtful. Like when I was originally telling him about my mom and the crazy things going on he'd say "That sucks I'm sorry... Anyways today at work this lady was such a bitch... stupid cunt whining about netflix" Which I understand his job is hard and I've told him its totally fine to look for a new one but he doesn't want to. The thing is he does it with every job, so the last three years we've been together I've been helping him with that or his other problems. Though its really hard for him to listen to mine and maybe I shouldn't be bothering him with it. Its hard to go outside with him because he's really negative and always thinks someone is going to attack us or something bad is going to happen. Like some teenagers asked if they could have some money for their two year old son and Jeff freaked out. He was saying he was about ready to shoot them. (later he said he didn't mean it.) He also was mad because I didn't unlock the door fast enough, though it was unlocked and I just couldn't open it because I had boxes on top of me. So sometimes when he gets upset he'll yell at me even if its someone else's fault. Or like if I bother him when he's playing games or even looking at stuff on ebay he gets really mad. In fact if I bother him at all while he's on the computer he gets really snappy. So I just try to leave him alone for the most part. Its just hard because sometimes he'll forget I exist. He's gotten a lot better though, at one point in time when the new call of duty came out a year or two ago he played almost everyday for over 8 hours and only talked to me during dinner. There was a whole month where we didn't even socialize with each other because he was playing games and would get mad if I dragged him away. Lately he's been drinking more too which is okay just that he's really mood swingy when he drinks. He'll start out super nice then freak out then go back to nice again.

Its just hard because there are so many people, family and other wise, that rely on me but I don't really have anyone to talk to because I'm afraid of troubling people with my problems. At least I'll give Jeff he's been trying harder kind of.

Then the finial thing would be my health. I don't want to make anyone worry but I really need to get my ass to the doctor. I don't think I'm dying or anything so don't worry! I don't have health insurance and I don't qualify for it at the moment because of my preexisting conditions. What sucks is I really need to go because lately I've been spitting up small amounts of blood and my right side has been in constant pain. I'm sure it will be okay it just worries me because its been really hard for me to go out because of how sick I've been. Anyways that's my life in a nut shell pretty much.


Anyways
TL;DR version: My mom is turning into a hypochondriac and threatening to kill herself.
My boyfriend is kind of a jerk at times, my grandpa is really sick/dying, and I'm sick.

Thanks for the Tl'dr version really helped. Also sorry to hear all that hope everything gets better.

[CL0V3R]

Haha I figure most everyone here would TL;DR if I didn't tell them the TL;DR version.
Thanks, I hope so too. C:

[Omlett]

I read it all, sucks cloey D:
Anyways, where in cali are you going

[Skrillex]

Thats so sad Clover

[Aleena]

motePokerface:

[CL0V3R]

I read it all, sucks cloey D:
Anyways, where in cali are you going

D;
Eureka, California I think? At least somewhere around there.
I'm going to San Francisco first though?
These have question marks because I still have discuss what's going on with my aunt.

@Skrillex: That's life for you. I'm sure it will all be fine I just need to vent. Thanks for caring though! C:

@Aleena: motePokerface:

[Omlett]

@ clover, eureka is in my county, maybe ill run into ya ;D.