1. Lie. A lot. Obvious lies. Elaborately ridiculous lies. And do it with a straight face. I could tell someone my brother was a fighter pilot who died in Vietnam while trying to make a latte mid-flight without cracking a smile.

2. Insult everyone. Do not discriminate. Friends get the worst ones. Be so convincing that they have no idea if you're serious or not, until they see you holding back (intentional) giggles.

3.In the middle of a boring conversation? Just walk away without saying bye. You have more important things to do.

4.Resist hugs. Don't deny them. Just resist. Or put in as little effort as possible, and act like it's a big hassle.

5. Find one person, preferably of the opposite sex. Treat them better than everyone else.

6. ???

7. Profit

All of these things rely on today's societal norms, and the raging sense of entitlement of today's population.
I have employed them all successfully.