These are some I came up with randomly throughout the day. (Yes, events happened to spark these)

"If you have to think about it, then it's probably not worth doing."

"If good guys finish last, then why can Captain Kirk cum faster than Ron Jeremy?"

"Life is a canvas. It's big, empty, and you've only filled a small corner. No need to throw that away when you can create a masterpiece."

"LG rules"