Souleater

[Khayden]

I'm bored. Entertain me.
















skype

[Souleater]

I have a joke then.

[Khayden]

That was hilarious.


Butt

[Taz]

[Souleater]

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.

[Khayden]

Atta boy, Charlotte

[Taz]

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.

Nice one babe.

[Souleater]

I got more:

Four nuns are killed and arrive at the Gates of Heaven. They line up in front of St Peter.
The first nun says “St Peter, I once saw a man’s penis. May I still enter?”
St Peter replies “Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed.”
The second nun says “St Peter, I once touched a man’s penis. May I still enter?”
St Peter replies “Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed.”
St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns. The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun. “What is going on?” he asks the fourth nun.
“I’m trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font”.

[Haruhiツ]

Cool story babe...now go make me a sammich >

[Souleater]

Cool story babe...now go make me a sammich >

A woman successfully gives birth after several hours of labor. The doctor takes the baby and leaves the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly begins to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. The woman screams, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!" To which the doctor replies, "April Fool's! It was already dead!"

---------- Post added at 03:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 AM ----------

A man drives by a naked beaten woman on the side of the road. He puts it in reverse and rolls down the window and yells, "Thats what happens when you leave the kitchen bitch."

A woman goes to the doctor and tells him, "Doctor, whenever my husband comes home, I make him dinner and we start talking, but he always beats me. What do I do?"
The doctor thought for a moment. After a few minutes he said, "Every time that you are about to speak, take a drink of tea, and wait."
The woman thanks the doctor and leaves. A few weeks later she comes back and says, "Doc, that worked great! He didn't hit me even once!"
The doctor then replies, "See what happens when you keep your mouth shut?"

[Taz]

inb4chrischinthischrischinthat