Strip Club

[Raivu]

Hey it's Raivu, and I'm about to regal you with a story the likes of which...you've never heard before.
So recently I graduated, and that being the case I endeavored to have a good time. And luckily, my graduation happened to fall around memorial day, so I figured "what better way to honor the fallen than to...go to a gentleman's club?"
If you don't know what a gentleman's club is, it's a place where gentleman go, to see ladies shake their man-raise and get paid 1$ at a time.
Because really, there's nothing more gentlemanly than that.

Anyway, I roll in and I'm excited at first, because it feels like I'm playing GTA but with better graphics. Then I notice the music sucks and it's so fucking dark I can't see my hand in front of my face. So, immediately we're greeted by this chick who's outfit can be blown off by a slight breeze, and one thing leads to another, and before you know it we're in the middle of a...casual conversation.

Then I ask her if she gets tired at the end of the day from dancing, and forget entirely that I'm at a strip club, until I look down at her tits and then I remember for some reason. After she leaves, my friend makes the observation that it's almost like talking to a waitress at Dennys, except you can see her labia. At which point, inspiration struck and I came up with the stunning idea of a Dennys/strip club hybrid, where if you take a dollar and give it to your topless waitress, she takes a strip of bacon out of her cleavage and feeds it to you.

So after a while, I see this stripper who just "happens" to be stripping, and she just "happens" to catch my eye, and I decide the forecast calls for a little rain, motherfucker. And...well it was really only 3$ worth of rain so it was really only a slight drizzle. Anyway, before I throw out my bills, I wave them in front of her face enticingly, and uh.. right as she comes up I tear them in half and she just thinks this is the most hilarious thing ever, from the look of Rage on her face.

Anyway, she gives me this round-trip ticket to ass-town, and its pretty cool. I think the whole world should work like that. The more singles you throw out, the better it gets. And if I ever go again, you can believe I'm going to bring a fucking dollar on a string and a video camera. So, eventually I ask my new girlfriend for a lapdance and she must have been really into me, because she's like "sure, alright. whatever."

Now I was under the impression that every club in the universe had a "no touching rule". Well, this particular establishment had a mandatory touching rule, because 5 seconds in she "happens" to place my ass.. in her hands. Or wait, that's not right. turn that around. um...I just look up and I'm like
"thanks"
And she just melts. I mean, she's fucking in love. I can tell. All in all it was a pretty cool experience. I mean, it was a little awkward when I came myself and she screamed and ran away, but whatever.

After she came back, I asked her to try and convince my friend to get a lapdance. He just wasn't having it. So she goes over and she says:
"Do you want a lapdance?"
"no"
"Do you not find me attractive?"
At this point I was gold. I thought "yeah, this chick knows what she's doing"
But he just wasn't having it. he said "It's not that I think you're unattractive I just dont want a lapdance."
Then she started getting angry and insulting him.
Finally she said "what's the matter. "Fraid your dick won't get hard?"
in which he replied "No, I'm afraid yours will".

~TheSlickMachine

[Drakonid]

tl;dr
Guys, try to make your posts no longer than 6 lines.

dssfsfsfsbbsbs

[Raivu]

dssfsfsfsbbsbs

xD It's not a general discussion, just a story. Sorry bro
At least I spaced it out so it's easier for you to read.
:p 7 paragraphs isn't a chore.