Public Service Announcement

**gotxbrain** · 01 Jun. 2010 10:26am

Brought to you by Minora and the letter 4

We highly recommend that you avoid putting limes in your vagina. Likewise, if someone else says "Do you mind if I put a lime in your vagina?", we suggest that you politely say "No thank you". While limes and other citrus fruits are colorful and create an interesting aesthetic, they seem better suited for seafood garnishes and cocktails.

Admittedly, we have not systematically studied the long and short-term effects of lime insertion in vaginas. However, we’ve decided to go out on a limb with a few unproven warnings anyway. (If we’re wrong, we promise to make a public apology.)

Germies: If not thoroughly washed, the lime could contaminate your vagina with who-knows-what-from-who-knows-where-it’s-been.
Stuckage: That looks like a pretty tight fit. Do you want to risk a visit to the Emergency Room to answer the inevitable "So what seems to be the problem?"
Ouchies: If the lime is scratched or punctured in any way, the juice could sting your tender bits.
Stinkage: If you don’t change your lime regularly, it could develop a foul odor.
Grief, loss & humiliation: If you leave the lime in there too long, your vagina may eventually suffocate and fall off. You don’t want your pussy to fall off do you? My luck, it would happen while I was standing in line at the super market. And, I don’t think my medical insurance covers reattachment.

We suggest you stick to the basics when it comes to putting things in your vagina. Fingers, tongues, dildos, vibrators, tampons, lube, diaphragms . . . hmmm, what am I forgetting? Oh, and beautiful engorged latex covered penises!