Hello Beatle People

[C0FFINCASE]

Ok, so I have this verse/chorus(part that makes up 90% of the song) in my head and a solo ideas to put over it. Any way, I hashed out a rough mix and did a extended solo over the whole thing to get ideas out and hear them against the chords.
I'm hoping Kain or Raivu or Plobby or someone else with music inclination can listen to it, maybe suggest a bridge or something.
I'm running the bass and backing guitar with the same groove, something I plan to change in the end. The progression is: D-A-Bmi-G
The lead is in pentatonic with some power chord and me throwing effect on to see what sticks.

The intro bit is open chords, with distortion and a flanger. I thought it sounded pretty sweet, especially at the end when the lead comes in and the open G rings out over if and then I play the power chord on the low E then move up an octave with them. Fun stuff, any way I digress. It is a rough mess and there are mistakes. I just wanted to start putting it together before I took it to the band. I think I can actually take this one some where since I have some lyric ideas as well for once.

Even if you're not gonna help feel free to listen. The first three minutes are rough song, the last three are lead ideas I was trying out but ran out of backing track.

Rough mix of: LIfE(working title)

[Beyoncé]

I didnt read what you said but that music made my ears hurt

[C0FFINCASE]

I didnt read what you said but that music made my ears hurt

What's wrong, never listened to Neil Young?


Hard Rock: Warning makes nonbelivers ears bleed.

[Kain]

Little too distorted at the intro for my taste, might just be the recording.

Around 3:15 sounds amazing, but soon after it gets a little choppy, not sure if that's when you start playing with it or not.

I'd say move away from the flanger, and try a wah-wah pedal, mine is always on to give it a twangy, cutting sound on the higher notes, and to bring out the harmonics. I only ever fidget with it when i'm playing a little part I came up with.

[C0FFINCASE]

I\'ve got blisters on me fingers!

Ringo screams that.

Little too distorted at the intro for my taste, might just be the recording.

Around 3:15 sounds amazing, but soon after it gets a little choppy, not sure if that's when you start playing with it or not.

I'd say move away from the flanger, and try a wah-wah pedal, mine is always on to give it a twangy, cutting sound on the higher notes, and to bring out the harmonics. I only ever fidget with it when i'm playing a little part I came up with.

It is the recording. For some reason my line in went from being awesome to being a bitch that destroys quality so I did it via mic. So I have a looper I set the backing up on running through an amp that is cranked to hell and then another amp with me on the lead next to it. It doesn't help that the bass and the rhythm guitar are playing the exact same thing the end result is the whole thing to feedback like a bitch.
Its defiantly choppy everywhere cause I'm literally bending over and playing with effects all the time and thinking about phrasing. But like I said rough first mix, just wanted to get stuff out see how it sounds. Still got to write a bridge/chorus. Also that's like 6 minutes of solo and i have to cut it down to a minute and put lyrics to the other bit.