it's a parody of Twilight and it had me cracking up from page one. My favorite part is where she trips over a todler into a keychain stand and then falls down the escalator into the luggage rack inconsiderately placed to the left.

''You don't have to go, Belle,'' said Bill. ''Sure, my street-hockey team is going on tour, but only around the neighborhood. There's plenty of space in the car for you, your mom and me to live.''

''It's no big deal. I want to go. I want to leave all of my friends and the sunlight for a small, rainy town. Making you happy makes me happy.''

''Please stay — who will pay the bills when you leave?''

I could hear my boarding number being called. ''I bet Bill can run faster than Mom to the nice Jamba Juice man!''

''I am the fastest!'' my mom shouted. As they ran off, Bill pulling her shirt to get ahead, I slowly backed away into the gate, through the jet bridge, and onto the plane. None of us were very good at saying good- bye. For some reason, it always came out good-BUH.
Read the whole first chapter here