I may be moving!

But I am honestly scared to death! We're moving to Colorado because my girlfriends family lives there.

I'm nervous because I have no clue where I'll work and I'm a failure at social situations so I can't really work in anything where I have tone overly social. I have no "experience" other than the lab tech job I've had for the last 3 years, but there is nothing up there similar to this job. The upside is ill have Internet that is actually faster than 1MB/s! I was also think that maybe I could get certified for computer repair and stuff and try and work somewhere involving that since I've been doing stuff like that since I was 8 or so...

The only reason you fail at social situations is because you self-identify as a failure at social situations.

All it takes to succeed a socializing is confidence. The thing about social situations is that if a person is confused as to how to behave, they do what other people do. Regardless. Candid Camera was oddly enough one of the first to research this, with one such example being having actors stand backwards in an elevator. Strangers getting on stood backwards too. If the actors turned in synchronization, the random person would mimic them. Why? Because they seemed to know what they were doing.
If you act different, people are going to accept that trait however you present it. If you present it as normal, they'll treat it as normal. If you present it as odd, they'll treat it as odd. First impressions last, and "It seems like their quirky quality has been positive for them." makes qualities endearing.

That's why there are people you find both loveable yet "out there." They embrace who they are, which isn't about convincing yourself that you're the perfect person, but realizing that qualities are categorical not ordinal. No one is really a failure at social situations. They're just not enthusiastic in social situations. Doubt less. If they disagree, they're the weird ones.

Oh wow. You know actually you are right. I've been working on having confidence, but it's a slow process. It's just any time (even with my own parents sometimes) I speak to someone my anxiety starts to flare up and my heart pounding is all I can seem to focus on and then I forget how to actually carry a conversation I suppose it stems from a fear of ridicule. I think I am going to start trying to be way more confident, after all I have to believe in myself first.

I find it odd that candid camera was the source of research, but at the same time that's awesome.

They were one of the first. But it's been studied many times since. And people in confusing situations always conform to the behaviors of people around them. It's very reliable to expect that.

Overcoming social phobia is literally just 'practice makes perfect.' The more you do it, the better you'll be. You don't have to overcome it at once. You'll feel a little bit better each time, and do better each time.

I honestly have no idea who you are - Havent seen you around before, atleast not much.
But your name is Nick. So is mine.
You live in Texas. Me too!
You have social anxiety problems. Same.
You're moving to Colorado... I have goals to move there within the next few years.

This is creepy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Smithno13

I honestly have no idea who you are - Havent seen you around before, atleast not much.
But your name is Nick. So is mine.
You live in Texas. Me too!
You have social anxiety problems. Same.
You're moving to Colorado... I have goals to move there within the next few years.

This is creepy.

---

Doppleganger?

Also, what GAME said about social anxiety is correct. All through middle school I was socially awkward, and then in highschool I literally said "fuck that shit" and just dropped all of my old socially awkward habits and became super friendly and completely turned into an extrovert lol. I highly suggest it, its way more fun talking to people and having friends compared to just sitting reading books and not talking to anyone.

EDIT: I just completely mixed up the words anxiety and awkwardness. Oops. Never had anxiety, only awkwardness.

You could try freelancing. The pay's usually not that great unless you keep at it, but it's something. I went through a rough spot a couple of years ago and made money as a freelance programmer and translator, and I'd look for really cheap deals at yardsales and then sale them on Craiglist or pawn them. I was homeless sometimes but I always had a car and it wasn't all that bad. I was making around $500 a month for a while and basically my only charges were: Starbucks coffees so I could do my job on their free wifi, a gym membership so I could take showers, a little bit of gas, cheap food, prepaid phone, and a couple other little things.

That actually doesn't sound all that bad cyanide (I already have a home that I have enough for the first down payment and 2 months payments saved back), but I don't know enough to freelance for programming since I've only dabbled around in a few languages and haven't chose one to actually pursue fully. The only thing I'm really good at is hardware/network setup which most people won't let someone uncertified do (as far as jobs that would pay enough to make it worth doing) but I will keep that in mind if things don't go very well at first. One of my friends even suggested scrapping metal if things got too bad. He said that's what his brother did to pay his first year through school.