What the hell is wrong with me

[The Unintelligible]

I've been asking if I could get a job because I could do computer security, website design, or just server management or computer repair or something - stuff I enjoy and would do with or without pay.

Uh, so you're assuming you can just up and get a job in computer security/server management/web design/computer repair/etc? It doesn't work like that. You need some form of certification. Be that as it may, are you sure you're even cutout/qualified for these jobs?

Not trying to insult you or whatever. But getting those kinds of jobs are far more difficult than you think or how you're describing it. The most you'd probably be able to do right now in terms of the fields you specified is freelance. And you can do that on your own time which doesn't necessarily go against what they're telling you.