memory recollection

So I have a very strong memory from when I was 4 years old. Its a pretty horrible memory and its a pretty long memory and the only one I have like it...but it stops abruptly after something really bad happens and I fight back...but once I make a stand for myself it goes blank...and by the previous actions of my memory I know that there is no way that nothing happened after it goes blank so I think I am holding it back because it is too painful which says a whole lot after the first part...Does anyone know of any way to try and unsupress memories? I know hypnotherepy can help but I dont have money for that and would prefer not to let someone else know it before I can figure out how to deal with it myself if it is really as bad as I am afraid it is....do you think you can recollect it through your dreams??? any ideas?