I Need You

I need u

you are the one i think about..
You are the one i wana feel..
when will your heart so true..
realise that I need you.

weve been frnds for too long
and ive tried to be strong
cuz seeing u with another guy
makes me wana cry..
When will u understand?
That im not JUST cut out to be ur frnd
when will your heart so true....
Realise dat i need you..


you are the one i think about..
you are the one i wana feel..
when will your heart so true..
realise dat I need you.

Y cant u say yes..?
I wana see you in dat perfect dress
y aint we together..?
You make me feel as light as a feather..
So so I ask of you
My love so true
when will your heart so true..
Realise dat i need you

Nthing to great
Just wrote it in 5 mins :P

Sweet, lil' poem, here :]

Felt a bit repetitive though...

Quote:

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"When will your heart so true...
Realize that I need you"

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This got repeated to much too my liking; maybe you could try changing the lines,
so that you get something like this in the first part:

Quote:

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"When will your heart so true...
Realize that I need you"

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And in the second:

Quote:

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"How can my heart so blue...
Ever forget about you"

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Just suggesting; it's nothing difficult, just try keeping the rythm 'n main structure,
but add small changes to each part and you'll get a nifty bit of variation :]

G'luck with your poems, matey!
Looking forward to your next ones!

Thnx for the support :)
Ill take your sujjestions into consideration :)

I like it...I even like how you didn't write it with perfect English and you used um...chat speach? idk what to call that but it kinda gave it a special vibe to it i liked it though :)

Its aight.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GamerForce

Its aight.

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Thats wat i was looking for :P
Thnx :)

frnds isn't a word, it's spelled "Friends"

---------- Post added at 02:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:32 AM ----------

please try to at least use spell check before you post on here.